“if only”

June 29, 2020

You’ve lost someone you love. They’re gone. Slipped into eternity. Slipped from this life, and absent of a future. 

When grief arrived, so did the “If only’s”.

If only…she was still here.

If only…we had another day. 

If only…cancer didn’t steal her breath and her tomorrows.

If only…she could be here with us, experiencing these new moments.

If only…

I hugged her more.

I knew she felt my love.

I knew she understood her worth, and guidance, and influence. 

If only…

there was a cure.

she never got sick.

she were still here, alive. 

If only…she knew the power of her love.

If only…things were different. 

“If only”, two words that plague the hearts of the grieving. Two words that hold the wishes of hurting hearts and bruised souls. Two words that cloud the mind and dreams of the ones that remain.

“If only”…two powerful words built of regret, remorse, and sorrow. Two words etched on the hearts and minds of the grieving. 

xox, Chels

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2 responses to ““if only””

  1. Heidi Smythe says:

    Spot on and written beautifully. I lost my mom to cancer nov. 27, 2018 and you wrote what goes through my head daily. She is missed every day, all day and I relate to every word you wrote. Thank you. I’m sorry you lost your mom but as cheesy as this sounds…she would be beyond proud of how much your writing is helping others cope with the life altering loss. ❤️

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Heidi, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much to me! I hate that we share this heartbreak, but find so much gratitude that you found my page and that my words resonated with you. Everything I write is an extension of my mother’s love and legacy! Thank you for reading my work and taking the time to share a piece of your heart! <3, Chels

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Chelsea Ohlemiller

Chelsea Ohlemiller

A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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