The Day I Became an Adult

February 18, 2020

It wasn’t the day I got my driver’s license. It wasn’t the day I got married or had children. None of those things made me feel like an adult. Truth is, I did a lot of adulting before I ever actually felt like one. That all changed the day my mother died. That day I became an adult. The kind of adult that doesn’t have a mother. 

That kind of adulthood can’t be ignored. It’s the kind of adult that suddenly gains immense responsibility. Instantly you have a new authority, one in which you never wanted. Losing a parent changes you. You feel like an orphan. The very person and soul that created you is gone, which means that portion of your being is gone too. 

You are different, and you will remain different. It’s impossible to be the same person you were when your parent was alive, walking around this world with you. The world is now empty of one of the most important people in your life. The world is now empty of all that they were and all that they gave. Because of that, the world now feels empty, even if it’s still full of others you love and adore. 

I became an adult the day my mother died. I gained responsibility and lost a piece of my soul, all in the same second. Maturity found me, as did heartbreak. 

The day your parent dies, your future looks different. Pieces of it are stolen from you. Moments gone. New memories no longer allowed. It’s as if all of their love, wisdom and guidance drift into your existence, the second they lose theirs. 

You’re forever changed. 

If you want to feel like an adult, wait until the moment you lose a parent. Adulthood finds you immediately, and you are never the same. 

xox, Chels

6 comments so far.

6 responses to “The Day I Became an Adult”

  1. Leslie Barnett says:

    How true. You nailed it. I wish I didn’t know but that’s exactly how I feel now that I lost my mom to covid.

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Leslie, I am so sad to know we share this same heartbreak and loss. It is one that has forever changed me. I hope you find comfort and community on my page and please know I’m always here to listen or help in any way on your grief journey. <3, Chels

  2. Jean says:

    Wow you took the words out of my mouth! I lost my one and only sister this past April due to Covid and my dad passed this past August. I totally feel lost and alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Adulting is not fun. Wish i could turn back time. God bless you and your family❤

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Jean, thank you so much for reading my work and taking the time to comment! I appreciate it more than you know. I can’t imagine your pain, and I am so sorry you’ve experienced such devastating losses so close to one another. I hope you continue to find comfort and community on my page! God bless! <3, Chels

  3. Mulo says:

    Hey Chelsea great read. I just lost my mom 3 days ago, and relate to it 1000%. I almost freaked out that I could come across something that literally talked about exactly how I was feeling. It’s hurting a lot, and it’s hard to ignore the new added pressure of carrying the legacy but I guess they’d want us to try figure it out. Sending love all the way from South Africa
    Keep writing you’re amazing ! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
    You made me a fan, definitely reading your other stuff.

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Oh my goodness. I am honored by your comment and words. Thank you so much. I hate that we share this heartbreak and will be lifting you with prayer and comforting wishes as you begin this painful journey. I hope you find my page on Facebook, as it is truly a place for community and healing. You are not alone! Thank you for reading my stories. They pour straight from my heart. <3, Chels

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Chelsea Ohlemiller

Chelsea Ohlemiller

A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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