It wasn’t the day I got my driver’s license. It wasn’t the day I got married or had children. None of those things made me feel like an adult. Truth is, I did a lot of adulting before I ever actually felt like one. That all changed the day my mother died. That day I became an adult. The kind of adult that doesn’t have a mother.
That kind of adulthood can’t be ignored. It’s the kind of adult that suddenly gains immense responsibility. Instantly you have a new authority, one in which you never wanted. Losing a parent changes you. You feel like an orphan. The very person and soul that created you is gone, which means that portion of your being is gone too.
You are different, and you will remain different. It’s impossible to be the same person you were when your parent was alive, walking around this world with you. The world is now empty of one of the most important people in your life. The world is now empty of all that they were and all that they gave. Because of that, the world now feels empty, even if it’s still full of others you love and adore.
I became an adult the day my mother died. I gained responsibility and lost a piece of my soul, all in the same second. Maturity found me, as did heartbreak.
The day your parent dies, your future looks different. Pieces of it are stolen from you. Moments gone. New memories no longer allowed. It’s as if all of their love, wisdom and guidance drift into your existence, the second they lose theirs.
You’re forever changed.
If you want to feel like an adult, wait until the moment you lose a parent. Adulthood finds you immediately, and you are never the same.
A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.