It takes time to see beyond those last breaths and final heartbeats. It takes time to see beyond the destruction and forever absence you’ve been left with.  Grief takes time. It takes time to see them beyond the sickness and the disease. It takes time to remember them before they became frail and actively dying. Grief takes time.  It takes time to step back into…

She’s the woman standing ready to take her diploma. The one she received with honors and the one with an admirable 4.0 attached to it. As she reaches for the tassels ready to move them to the appropriate side, tears stream down her face as she thinks of her mother. Her mother is in heaven and that’s an ache she always lives with.  She’s the…

As a person consumed with grief I’ve found that people treat me like I’m some kind of bomb that is about to explode, like some kind of grenade that’s pin has already been pulled and it’s one toss from full destruction. Like I’m fragile and scary. Like I’m dangerous and uncomfortable. Like I’m too many unknowns and full of instability.  I lost my mom and…

The first time I looked at myself in the mirror after my mother died, I wasn’t completely shocked by the image that reflected. It was me, broken, raw, exhausted and faded. It was as if my light had dimmed. I wasn’t invisible but I no longer held shine or vibrance. I was dull and faded. I was grey in a world full of color.   It…

I sit here rocking this tiny human that I’ve created. A beautiful baby with fluttery eyelashes and a body that blends with mine so effortlessly. A little blessing we’ve been praying for, one impatiently awaited for oh so long.  Mother, can you see it? I watch as my sweet girl walks down the stairs, dressed and ready for her upcoming recital, looking more grown up…