She keeps repeating “It’s time” as if a turkey is ready to be taken out of the oven. As if this is an ordinary day or an ordinary occurrence. It’s not. My sister and I keep looking at each other, confused and heartbroken. The only words our mother has muttered in the last day seem to be these– variations of “I think it’s time”. In…

I stand there broken and in all black when she says, “You just have to get through today and it’ll all be over.” I’m not sure what’s worse, her words or the way I know she believes them. I can see in her eyes and her expression that she actually thinks after today, after my mother’s funeral, that things will be easier.  Does she forget…

My faith was lost for a while after my mother passed. When it came back, it was fleeting and inconsistent. There were times when I thought prayers must not work and that God wasn’t real. I’m not proud to admit that. In fact, it feels shameful, certainly something my mom wouldn’t be proud of. But, it’s real. It’s the truth of my grief and a…

There is one thing every princess I loved as a child has in common: they are motherless.  No one discusses the brutal element of those princess stories– it’s grief. It was a part of the movie that I never focused on and certainly one that no one was talking about. No one explains that the happily ever after of each and every one of those…

An unpopular opinion: I don’t relate or particularly like the term “rainbow baby”.  For many it’s a beloved title. For me, it doesn’t sit well. It never has. No matter how much I’ve tried to embrace it.  Maybe because it brings up pain and loss, and circumstances out of my control. Maybe because it reminds me of a child I’ll never hold or kiss. A…