You enter the hospital doors with circles under your eyes as dark as the coffee you’re about to order. You’re exhausted and you’re worried. You’re older now and the weight of responsibility often lies on you. You’re grown, and capable, and in charge of tasks and decisions you’re not quite ready for. The truth is, you’re never quite ready for them.
In the midst of the pain you’re currently holding, I hope you know that not all parents get a child like you. A child who is now an adult. An adult who is now taking care of her parents. Someone who drives near and far, back-and-forth, to get to and from the hospital in which they now reside. The kind of adult and child that holds immense ache for what this means, while also ensuring that you never let it show so nobody else knows the truth of this harsh reality– this delicate blend of beginning and ending.
On your harshest days, remember— not all parents get a daughter like you. A daughter that rushes in an urgency of love to support, assist, and show up with anything and everything your parents need. A daughter taking care of her parents, or parent, with the same devotion as they did when you were born– the same adoration and care they’ve provided for you your entire life.
You’re returning the favor. You’re shifting the responsibility. You’re trading positions.
Not all parents get a daughter, or son, like you, who takes on the duty, who holds the reins, who makes sure everyone is well taken care of, even if it means not taking care of yourself. You are beautiful and lovely and a blessing to each and everyone you love– especially them, your mom and dad.
You are a constant, a saving grace, and not all parents get someone like you. Someone who drops everything to be where they are and shows up with exactly what they need– you. Someone always willing to do the hard work, the messy work, the work that’s both challenging physically and emotionally. The work that changes both you and them– changed by time and by influence.
You are a gift– a true gift, of aid and service and devotion. Not all parents get someone like you, with a heart to serve and to comfort, and the wisdom to ensure that they are not scared or worried about what lies ahead, because you are there with them, always.
When the days get long and the tasks get tremendous, know that what you’re doing matters. When you feel fragile and emptied of energy, know that what you’re doing is so incredibly special and profound. When you’re down to the last spark of hope and you’re not sure how you’ll make it through one more day, remember that love has a way of filling the spaces where strength once was.
And while not all parents get someone like you, not all children get parents like them, making each moment together infinitely precious– even these difficult ones. And I promise you, they’re so incredibly proud to have a daughter (or son) like you.
I really needed to hear this. Even though its been almost 7 years since shes been gone. And she did thank me for taking her in and making her last 6 months the most memorable. But i still felt like I didn’t do enough. I wanted to do so much more. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.