As Far as I Can

February 26, 2021

She said, “I’m not ready.”

With a shattered heart I said, “Me either.”

She said, “I love you, to the moon and back, forever.”

With my whole heart, I said, “I love you more.”

She said, “I’m scared.”

With fear and anxiety I said, “I’m scared too.”

She said, “I think it’s time.”

Through tears I whispered, “I’ll go with you.”

“You know you can’t do that,” she replied.

“I know, but I’ll go as far as I can.”

And it was true, and it wasn’t far, because before I could walk with her as she stepped into eternity, she disappeared into her forever. 

xox, Chels

7 comments so far.

7 responses to “As Far as I Can”

  1. Layla says:

    This is so beautiful. I remember a few hours before my mom died, we had just received news of her terminal cancer diagnosis.. I walked into the room, sat on the edge of her hospital bed and just stared at her wondering how I was going to make it through without her. And out of nowhere I broke my silence and said loudly “I love you”. She removed her oxygen mask and whispered with all her strength “i love you too”..those were the last words we spoke..she lost consciousness a few minutes later and passed away 3 hours after that

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Layla, I felt these words. I hate we share this heartbreak but I’m so honored that my words resonate with you and others. I pray you continue to find hope and comfort on my page. It’s the very reason I started writing. I wanted to know if others felt the same, and if they did, to let them know they are not alone. Grief is so messy and complicated, but we’re all in this together and I’m lifting you in prayer and light today! xox, Chels

  2. Nancy says:

    That is so beautiful.
    My mom died from lung cancer. She fought for two years.
    I didn’t get to be there when my mom passed. The nurses told us she had 3 or 4 more weeks. I went home Christmas Eve to make a breakfast casserole for our family. I got the call early Christmas morning that she passed. I was so upset that I wasn’t there to tell her goodbye. I never really told her that I knew she was dying. I just couldn’t although she knew.
    I miss her so much.

  3. S. Marshall says:

    My mother, 1 of 8 children died in 2000 from a brain aneurysm. A few month’s later my grandmother
    (her mother) passed aswell from heart problems.
    Altough she was a very healthy woman.
    It’s been said she died of a broken heart.

  4. Jocelyn says:

    My mother passed 10 days ago, her funeral was yesterday.
    She had dementia but has a fall and broke her hip and ended up in palliative care, unresponsive for the last 3 days of her life. I was blessed to be with her for most of the time. Our family sat with her on her last day and looks through photos and we shared wonderful memories of her life. Within the last hour of her life, my eldest brother and I read to her the love letters our father wrote her from 1963 before they were married. We hoped this would help her transition peacefully. We were with her when she took her last breath. I know she is at peace now.

  5. DeAnn Perkins says:

    I lost my Mom 3 weeks ago. She passed at the young age of 91. I definitely wasn’t ready and even though she lived a full, healthy life for 91 years she wasn’t either. I don’t think you can ever have your Mom long enough.

  6. Sue says:

    I think the worse part was when my Mom said “I’m just so tired”. I felt I had to give her permission to go. Now I wish I didn’t. Did I give her permission to give up? Some days I loath myself for saying it. I miss her every moment of every day and wish I could be with her. 💔

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

Let’s connect: