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Harsh Realities

August 12, 2020

Someone Worth Missing, My Mother

August 11, 2020

Checking Boxes & Routine Exams

Life Dreamed versus Life Received

Cardboard Signs & Vulnerability

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…and I will be forever. © Chelsea Ohlemiller:

…and I will be forever.

© Chelsea Ohlemiller: www.hopeandharshrealities.com (link in bio) Follow Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities on FB for more content.
#grief #griefquote #griefquotes #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #motherlessdaughter #motherlessdaughters #losingamother

She writes and asks, “When will I stop crying? W

She writes and asks, “When will I stop crying? Will I cry forever?” Immediately I wish I could respond with the answer she’s looking for, the one that she’s hoping I’ll provide. The one that would say, “Of course you’ll stop crying. Of course you won’t cry forever.” But those statements would be lies. They would hold zero truth and would be completely inaccurate of the aftermath of life after losing someone you love.

Instead I prepare myself for the truth I’m about to deliver to a tender heart. A soul that is damaged and ridden with the same holes as mine, the ones that develop when you lose a parent, and for us it is our mothers.

I reply by saying, “I wish I had the answer that I know your heart is seeking, instead I’ll offer brutal truth wrapped with delicate love. You will stop crying, but not forever. Eventually, you’ll cry again. Sometimes often and uncontrollable. Sometimes unpredictable and overwhelming. Sometimes loud and obnoxious. Sometimes completely silent and still. Either way, you’ll continue to cry.”

“Some days you’ll cry harder and more violently than others. Sometimes you’ll cry with a smile and a laugh. But you should know, tears shouldn’t be avoided. They aren’t terrible or awful things. They are proof of love. They are visual representations of things you miss and things you adore. They are proof of your ability to feel, even when that feeling is heartbreak and pain.”

“Ridding your path of tears means removing the emotions and feelings too. Tears are just as important as smiles or laughs. They are symptoms of great love and great influence. Tears are just as critical to our healing as rain is to nourish the earth. They hold value and purpose too. While at first they are created by hurt and longing, by heartbreak and pain, eventually they become crafted by memories and reminiscence. The tears and the crying never fades completely or clears from your path, but rather, they shift their power and their purpose.”

“First they are tears of complete despair.
Then of confusion.
Then of denial.
Then of anger.
Then of heartbreak.
Then of hope.
And eventually of reminiscence.
And of infinite love.
And ultimately…CONTINUED IN COMMENTS…

Not everyone gets a mother like her. © Chelsea

Not everyone gets a mother like her.

© Chelsea Ohlemiller: www.hopeandharshrealities.com (link in bio) Follow Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities on FB for more content.
#grief #griefquote #griefquotes #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #motherlessdaughter #motherlessdaughters #losingamother

We will always have questions. #grief © Chelsea

We will always have questions. #grief

© Chelsea Ohlemiller: www.hopeandharshrealities.com (link in bio) Follow Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities on FB for more content.
#griefquote #griefquotes #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #motherlessdaughter #motherlessdaughters #losingamother

I’m angry but I’m not sure who or what I’m a

I’m angry but I’m not sure who or what I’m angry at. Grief brought a lot of emotions and anger was one that surprised me the most. It’s fierce and it’s mighty but I’m not sure who exactly it should be directed towards.

Am I angry at God? For not giving my mother more time. For taking an immensely faithful woman too soon— before gray hair or retirement? Before she led others to be just as faithful as she was.

Am I angry at the doctors? For not saving my mother. For not healing her from the cancer that ravished her body? For not doing more to extend her life?

Am I angry at the disease? A disease that steals so many beautiful people. A disease that rips our loved ones away violently and without care? A disease that knows no limits or boundaries.

Am I angry at everyone who gets to live a long life— something my mother never got to do? Am I angry at the bad moms, the less than mediocre moms, the ones who get to stay when the good ones seem more deserving of additional breaths and memories?

Am I angry at my own mother? For leaving me before she taught me how to live a life without her? Before she taught me all the things a mother is supposed to teach her child. For missing every single thing that is to come.

Am I angry at the world for keeping some and killing others? For deciding my mom was ready to be lowered six feet under while billions of others get added time and added influence. For a world that has diseases that deplete great people of the life they deserved.

Am I mad at death itself for sneaking in and taking a woman who had so much left to give and do and say? A woman who loved and lived beautiful and so very much deserves to still be here.

I’m so angry.

Angry that she’s gone. Angry that she’s missing each new day and each new accomplishment. Angry that she doesn’t get to be here for her daughters or her grandchildren. Angry that her time expired before all the other mothers I know. Angry that her goodness wasn’t rewarded with something as simple as additional life and living.

Grief brought anger.

I’m not proud of it but it’s a reality of grief’s impact. I’m not… CONTINUED IN COMMENTS…

She’d still be here…. © Chelsea Ohlemiller:

She’d still be here….

© Chelsea Ohlemiller: www.hopeandharshrealities.com (link in bio) Follow Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities on FB for more content.
#grief #griefquote #griefquotes #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #motherlessdaughter #motherlessdaughters #losingamother

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