Mom, I heard a song today. It delicately said “I hope you’re dancing in the sky.” I found myself daydreaming of you dancing on clouds and swaying with the gentle breeze of heaven. I found myself envisioning you bend and twirl and smile. You were beautiful. You always are.
I found myself smirking because I can’t remember a time I saw you dance. The only times that came to mind were when you were enamored in your baking. With one small taste the joy came seeping out in a graceful shimmy and shake. I envisioned you in your glory, moving through the kitchen baking things as sweet as the inside of your soul. With wet eyes, I paused as I remembered.
Unlike the song, I don’t hope you’re dancing. I hope you’re baking, or reading, or doing any of the other things that made you smile from your soul. I have hopes for you up there in heaven, as you probably hold hopes for me down here too. Hope is such a funny thing, isn’t it mama? Invisible but mighty.
I hope you are free of pain and free of worry.
I hope you are free of disease and free of death.
I hope you are smiling.
I hope you are proud.
I hope you still love me with the same intensity you did on earth.
I hope you are still you but with the body of an angel and the soul of a saint.
I hope you feel the love because it didn’t leave with you.
I hope so many things, just as I wish many things too. Wishes are funny things, aren’t they mama? Invisible but fierce.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish for one more hug, kiss, and whisper of my name.
I wish time didn’t escape as quickly as it did.
I wish things were different.
Hopes and wishes, mama. Delicate whispers of my heart. Silent to the world but so loud deep inside my soul. I wish you were here mom, but hope that no matter where you are you hold the beautiful greatness that you are. I can’t see you anymore but I can feel pieces of you so intensely it’s as if you never left.
I wish you were here and I hope you know that.
Hopes and wishes, mama. Hopes and wishes.
I am sorry for your loss. I have tears falling down my face. 😭 What a beautiful message. I lost my mom in November and your words are precisely how I feel. Thank you for sharing this