Someone asked about you the other day. They wondered if I’d heard from you. They wondered what had become of you now that it’s been nearly a decade since our divorce and the downfall of your life with addiction.
I explained I hadn’t heard from you since the moment our divorce was finalized. I explained you are now a stranger and a shadow, but also that I wish you well and that you’re forgiven.
You see, you might not know, but I forgive you, fully and freely. My heart holds no grudge and my soul holds no contempt. I am free and happy and on occasion even pray that you are those things too.
You are not a demon from my past that haunts my memories or my future. You are simply a man who destroyed life as I knew it and gave me the opportunity to climb higher, live bolder and love more beautifully. Without your chaos and demolition, I wouldn’t have learned strength and resiliency. But I have, and it’s beautiful and the very reason I have forgiven you of all of your past manipulation and control.
You are more than the sum of your mistakes. You are more than your addiction. You’re somebody’s someone and something, which is why I wish you well. I wish you a life worth living, simply one that doesn’t include me in any capacity. While you deserve healing and a life lived with meaning, you no longer deserve any portion of mine.
It wasn’t easy or quick to forgive you, afterall your destruction was worse than a category 5 hurricane, the kind of wrecking that leaves a lasting and memorable chaos. When it finally happened it was as if chains were unlocked from my feet and the weight had been lifted off my chest. The morning I woke up and realized I had moved on, climbed up, and broken free from the consequences of knowing you was one of the most powerful days of my life. One I will never forget. One I’m grateful for.
While I hope you always stayed tucked away and invisible from my path, you’re forgiven and I wish you well.
I am healed.
I am better than ever.
And I forgive you.
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A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.