Sometimes hurting hearts say:
“Be grateful.”
“It could have been worse.”
“You had your mother longer than I had mine.”
“You’re lucky to have had a mother like her.”
Sometimes hurting hearts say things that sting. Sometimes they say things in judgement, jealousy, and heartbreak. While those are the words that slip from their mouth or are typed from their keyboard, they don’t reflect what her soul is truly saying.
What she’s really saying is, you got things I didn’t.
She’s saying, you got more time and more memories. Things I wish I had more of too.
She’s saying, my grief still hurts and your words have reminded me of that pain.
She’s saying, I have an ache that won’t go away and I’m jealous of the love and relationship I never got.
She’s saying be grateful because grief has taught her the deepest form of gratitude and she wants others to feel it’s power too.
She’s saying life isn’t fair, because that is a harsh truth. Life is not fair.
She’s saying, your story reminds me of mine and it hurts.
She’s saying, I wish this wasn’t my story. I wish I didn’t know this pain and this longing. I wish things were different.
She’s saying I’m completely broken and trying to learn how to live with this trauma and sadness.
None of it is you. It is pain and loss and the grief of a motherless future.
Pain isn’t equal, neither are experiences. Sometimes when a grieving heart sees opportunity it says, “Be grateful.” instead of “I’m hurting, immensely. Grief hurts.”
We can all hurt. We can all ache.
When your grieving heart starts to talk or type or shout or cry, let it say:
I understand.
You are not alone.
I hate that we share this heartbreak.
I hear you.
I see you.
I’m here.
I am here. Always.
Let your hurting heart speak with the empathy of it’s brokenness, not the harshness of it’s open wound.
