I Am More Than My Grief

I don’t want my grief and my broken heart to be the loudest thing about me. I don’t want to be known by the loss I’ve experienced or the pain that I now carry. I don’t want to be known as the girl whose mother is dead, a girl who is mere pieces of who she used to be. I don’t want my sadness or my sorrow to be the first thing people notice or know about me. 

I am more than my grief.

I am more than my brokenness.

I don’t want to be known for the parts of me that no longer exist. I don’t want the hole in my heart and the ache in my soul to be the loudest thing about me. I don’t want to be known for just my past and the titles I no longer carry. I don’t want people to look into my eyes and see only darkness and faded purpose. 

I am more than my pain.

I am more than my past. 

I don’t want others to think I’ve only been sculpted out of loss, death and devastation. I want them to see I’ve been sculpted by love too. I don’t want people to see only the destruction but also that I’m in a place of discovery for what is to come. I don’t want people to misunderstand my silence for depression or my loudness for madness. 

I am more than my emotions.

I am someone’s legacy. 

One day I want to walk into a room and be known for what I am in this moment. I want to be known for the version of me that stands today– the changed version. The one that’s standing with shaking legs and unsteady breaths, but one that’s still standing. 

I am more than my grief.

You are too. 

Never forget that.

xox, Chels