My husband holds me as I sob and repeat, “It’s the ‘never again’. Never ever ever again.” It’s an unexpected wave of grief that has once again knocked me down. Lucky for me, this time he was here to help catch me and my broken heart. I’m barely understandable as I cry and let my grief do the talking.  “I thought I was doing ok.…

After my mother passed I found myself stuck on that page of my story and my life’s book. I refused, and quite frankly, could not turn the page knowing that each additional page would be void of her presence and her influence. She wouldn’t be in the subsequent stories and chapters. They would be missing a character– a main one, a powerful one, a significant…

Since I was a kid I’ve always given more weight and power to the voices and opinions of others over my own. I desperately wanted to be liked and to be part of the crowd. So when grief entered my life in adulthood I was taken back to that same chase.  To be ‘normal’. To be “ok”. To be welcomed with grace. To be loved…

I’m sitting in my father’s frigid hospital room when I hear it for the second time today, “Code blue. Code blue.” Just like the previous time, I hear scurrying in the hallway and see nurses moving quickly to assist with the call. I can tell without asking that it isn’t good. I don’t know what “code blue” signifies but I know it’s bad by the…