She is a Woman with a Mother in Heaven

January 23, 2023

She is broken. She is shattered. She is changed, forever.

She is a woman with a mother in heaven.

She is angry. She is confused. She is scared. 

She wants so desperately to hold hope and faith but somehow they have become unknown entities in this current state of life. She is suddenly surrounded by darkness while desperately searching for a speck of light. She cannot comprehend the loss she’s just endured.

She is a woman with a mother in heaven. 

She wonders “why”, and probably always will. 

She fears the future, knowing it will be void of her best friend–the woman that made her her. 

She feels as if pieces of her heart were also lowered into the dirt, alongside her mother. 

She is a woman with a mother in heaven. 

She is called “motherless”, though she’ll never accept that term. 

She has suddenly become the kind of adult in charge of wills and funeral planning, the kind of adult that has watched last breaths and whispered final goodbyes. 

She now walks with a shadow, where her beloved mother should be. 

She is a woman with a mother in heaven. 

She is complicated. She is conflicted. She is simultaneously strong and weak, brave and afraid, hopeful and hopeless. Sometimes her pain makes her sound harsh and distant. Her heart and soul and mind are constantly in survival mode. She wishes the world would be more gentle and patient with her. She wishes people understood her heartbreak, while also never wanting anyone else to experience this type of grief and reality.

She is a woman with a mother in heaven. 

She’s someone who always has someone missing. 

She’s someone who will always look out into a crowd for someone who simply can’t be there. 

She’s someone who is always searching, always hoping, for a glimpse, a sign, or a change of fate. 

She’s a woman with a mother in heaven. 

What she fails to see right now is the strength, the resilience, the heart, and the drive she has inherited from the very person she’s lost. She cannot yet see the way all of the things she loved most about her mother have now become hers. She cannot yet see the love that remains in the midst of a forever absence, or the way her mother will continue to show up for her.

She is a woman with a mother in heaven. A woman that carries the legacy of the greatest woman she’s ever known.

She is you. 

She is me. 

She is every woman with a mother in heaven. 

xox, Chels

2 comments so far.

2 responses to “She is a Woman with a Mother in Heaven”

  1. Alva Shankles says:

    Absolutely Beautiful, and all so very true. I can definitely relate. Thank you for sharing this.

  2. dolores espinoza says:

    I hope you know, that these words are helping me to take it day by day , I buried my mother a week ago…and I am reading , and everything you speak of, makes sense and makes me realize..we will never be the same , but life goes on with her in her legacy 🙏🏼🤍 Thank You so much for these words .

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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