She had been released from the hospital. Walking around outside on a beautiful day. Suddenly I felt compelled to squeeze close to her and take a picture. We both smiled as I quickly snapped a series of photos.
This is one of those pictures
The last picture I would ever take with my mother.
A picture that aches and leaves me motionless.
A picture that knocks the wind right out of me. Every. Single. Time.
It aches because I was clueless to the future. I had no idea the limit on the days that would remain. I had no idea the limit of picture taking, cuddling, conversing, or spending time together. I had no idea that the sand in her hourglass wouldn’t flip or fill.
Maybe it was naive love and faith.
Maybe it was hopeful denial.
Either way, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have predicted the coming loss.
Some memories pop up and bring joy.
Some bring sorrow, or tears, or heartbreak.
Some bring a smile and happiness.
And some simply take your breath away and leave you motionless in emotion.
This memory, this photo, is one of the latter. The kind that takes your breath and leaves you motionless. The kind that leaves an ache and longing deep inside your soul. The kind that makes me miss her, more than usual, and more than before.
The solace in the pain is also seeing the love that radiates from this photo.
This photo showcases love.
The smiles are love, effortless and beautiful love.
And while people die, love doesn’t.
It stays. It exists. Always.
A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.