I’m an emotional and complicated girl. Rightfully so. I’ve gone through some turmoil in my 37 years. But let’s face it, who hasn’t?
I’ve been the girl who was picked on. I’ve been the girl who picked on others. I’ve been the girl who married a guy, blind of his addictions and emotional distress. I’ve been a girl wrapped tightly in chaos through a tricky and suffocating divorce. I’ve been a single mom. I’ve been a mediocre mom.
I’ve been the girl who lost hope for love and happiness. I’ve been the girl who became motherless and drowning in grief. I’ve been lost and I’ve been shaken. I’ve been the girl that lived paycheck to paycheck with nothing fancy and nothing extra. I’ve been the girl covered in anxious thoughts and constant self-doubt. I’ve been messy and broken.
But also…
I’ve been the girl who loved fiercely and gave freely, without expectation. I’ve been the girl who has led an entire room of kindergarteners in dance and laughs. I’ve been the girl that found romance again, even after heartbreak. I’ve been the girl blessed by motherhood, and the love of the little beings that gave me that title.
I’ve been the girl that came through hard times determined to stand up, taller and stronger than before. I’ve been the girl full of so much happiness I’ve danced in the kitchen and sang in the car. I’ve been the girl surrounded by the best support system a person could ask for. People that keep me reaching for more, humble in spirit, and counting my blessings daily.
All of those pieces, both the great and the awful, are what make up the woman I am today. The best version of myself. I’ve still got little holes in my heart from heartbreak, but through the years I learned to fill them with new adventures, new dreams, and new love.
Not every part of a girl can be healed, but every part can be filled with something new or different to lessen the pain.
I am grateful for the hard times because without them I might not be the appreciative and grateful soul that I am today. I might not be the mother or wife I am today. I might not be the dreamer I am today. I might not be the writer I am today. I might not be the girl and woman I am today.
But I am.
I’m the girl who is still learning, still growing, and still chasing goals. The girl who is the happiest I’ve ever been, but not content enough to stop seeking more of everything that makes me shine.
I’m the girl with a past and a girl with a future.
What kind of girl are you? What kind of girl do you want to be?
You’ve got time to become her. Trust me.
