By now I should know to watch the trailer before cuddling up to enjoy a new movie. I should also expect the plotline to include some type of dying mom, dead mom, or mother who gets a terminal diagnosis, yet each time I’m naively surprised and grief-stricken. In the seven years since my mother has been gone, movie scripts continually use my real-life realty as a storyline and no matter how many times I’ve seen it on the big screen, they always sting the same, wholeheartedly and unavoidably.
For the actors, it’s pretend. For me, it’s real- unchangeable, permanent.
Only 17 minutes into the movie, The Life List, I’m reminded of the ache of losing a mother, an ache that I can suddenly feel again in my chest and in my lungs. Grief’s impact can be physical, and this is physical. It’s tears and a racing heart. It’s overwhelm. It’s heartbreak and it’s heavy.
I realize I’m crying harder than I have in months, maybe even years. It’s the ugly kind of cry that consumes you. Lucky for me, I’m alone, no one here to notice.
I pause the movie. I try to catch my breath. I know I cannot click the play button again, at least not today.
And I don’t.
But then it’s morning and I feel compelled to continue. I feel drawn to see what happens and how it all ends. I grab my coffee, the remote, and I prepare myself for the inevitable raw and vulnerable grief that will arise, then push play.
I watch through tears and smiles and tears and yes, more tears, but they aren’t only tears of brokenness and sorrow. They are tears of beauty, of love, of reminiscence, and of joy. They are tears of gratitude for how much of a gift mothers are and how powerful their love and their hopes for our life were and will always be.
This movie is beautiful. It’s breathtaking. It’s a bold glimpse at the love and legacy of a mother. Of course mothers are the key element to most movie storylines, they’re the key element to our lives, especially when you’re blessed with a remarkable one.
If you’re a woman who has lost a mother, when your heart is ready, I hope you’ll watch it. It will undoubtedly have you aching for your mother, but also, it will have you feeling immensely inspired and hope filled. It will have you chasing a life and passions that she’d be proud of, one designed and chosen by you.
It will leave you empowered by your grief, not just stuck in it, but you must watch it in its entirety.
As a woman who has lost my mother, I adored this movie, and now I can’t wait to read the book too. Sure, it brought my grief to the surface, but it also brought reminders of my mother’s love and pride and devotion, reminders which are always welcome.
Have you seen The Life List? What were your thoughts?
