Today is a day we celebrate Mothers, which is bittersweet now that mine isn’t here anymore. In moments of grief and sadness, I go back to the basics. I remember, there would be no celebrating today without you! You are my biggest accomplishments and my biggest blessings. You’re also the reason for my grey hair, dark circles under my eyes, and the strong coffee I need each morning. But that’s a story for a different day.
Today, I’ll tell you a little story about your grandmother and her only Mother’s Day request.
Every year when growing up, I’d ask Memeré what she’d like for Mother’s Day. Every year, she’d simply say, “time with you and your sister.” This was her answer every single year and every year I’d be baffled by her selflessness. How did she not want something? A purse? A manicure? A massage? But those things never mattered to her. And now, as a mother myself, I completely get it.
It’s funny how her only requested gift is actually the very gift I’ll be requesting on my Mother’s Day weekends. I want quality time with all of you. I want to watch you laugh. I want to watch you have fun. I want to kiss your sweet faces. I want to squeeze you silly and cuddle with you all day. I’m the most happy and carefree when I’m lost in the moment with all of you. Time is our best and most meaningful gift. It’s my only request for today and each Mother’s Day to come. Remember this when you’re older and searching the aisles of Target.
I want you to know that each day I strive to be the mother your Memeré was. I’ve got huge shoes to fill. She loved me fiercely. She supported me endlessly. She believed in me always. She was the kind of mother that made you proud to be her daughter. She was simply unforgettable. I hope I can keep her memory alive for all of you. I hope you’ll begin to see her through me. I hope I remind you of her so you’ll never forget her love and influence. I miss her immensely. We all do.
I want you to know that I’m 8 years into this position and I’m still learning. You see, moms make mistakes too. A lot of them. I yell sometimes. I get distracted and emotional and overwhelmed. But each day I wake up trying to do better. Know that I’ll never be a perfect mom, or anything close to that. But also know that no one will ever love you as sincerely and deeply as I do.
Today, on this day where we celebrate motherhood, I want you to know how much I love being your mother. Each one of you is unique and loved in your own special way . I will love you, support you, and believe in you, always. I want you to know that while motherhood is my most exhausting adventure, it’s also my most meaningful one.
I love you to the moon and back..and back and back and back.
