To the Friend that just lost a Mother…

June 25, 2019

To the friend that just lost your mother,

There are no words to heal the pain and sorrow in your heart. 

There are no words that can comfort your soul. 

This heartbreak is unique. It will shatter you and leave you breathless. But you already know that. You felt it the moment she slipped from this earth. 

Your life will now be motherless. It’s a different kind of life from here on out. It doesn’t matter if your mother was young or old, the pain is the same. It’s excruciating. 

You’ll learn that the world will keep moving but you’ll feel like you’re detached from it all. After-all, how can things keep going when your world is shattered and still. 

You will be broken. You will hurt. You will miss her so fiercely that you become a different version of yourself. The you without your mother. 

Eventually you’ll get up. You’ll find strength and comfort and healing. But you won’t find a cure for the brokenness. It stays with you always. 

I hate that we share this heartbreak. I know the hurt you feel and wish I could help soothe the pain, even for a moment. 

Find comfort knowing that you grieve intensely because your love and bond was powerful and pure. After-all, grief comes from love. 

You had the love of your mother, and she may be gone, but that love will always remain. 

Praying fiercely for you as you enter your grief journey. It is unique to each person and a token of the love you shared so beautifully. 

xox, Chels 

11 comments so far.

11 responses to “To the Friend that just lost a Mother…”

  1. Gloria says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with us…I can relate to some of the things you said. life will never be the same…part of me died when my son died…I’ve become detached to many things. Nothing is that important anymore. ..In the past 5 or 6 years now I lost my step dad & my son…The hardest has been the death of my only child… I’m learning how to live without him…

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Gloria, I can’t even begin to understand your immense pain and grief. This morning I’m taking a few minutes to lift you in prayer and positive energy. Thank you so much for coming to my page and reading my work. My work was inspired by the loss of my mother. It comes from a place of pain and vulnerability. Thank you for reading the words that flow from my heart! I hope you’ll keep coming back and finding other pieces you can appreciate and relate to. xox, Chels

  2. Elyssa says:

    I know you get a million messages a day. But your words touch me. I can feel the loss of my mom physically and emotionally. It’s the strangest feeling I’ve ever felt. Like a pull towards something, yet I can’t figure it out. She died June 6th. I’ve already thought next week I’ll be at the cottage and that it will be a month already. How is it that the world didn’t actually stop? It feels raw, empty. Anyways, thanks for writing. Xoxo I guess we’re in the same club. One neither of us wanted to be in. 🙁

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Elyssa, I woke up to your comment and was so humbled and honored by your comment. As a writer, getting messages like this one are the biggest blessings and feelings of accomplishment. I started writing to turn my grief productive. To honor my mother and to put my story out there in case others felt the same. The response has been beautiful. I only wish my mother were here to see it all. Thank you for reading the words that flow from my heart. I hate that we share this heartbreak but I’m so glad you were able to find my words helpful and relatable. Today I’m taking extra time to pray and lift you in positive energy to help you find comfort and strength as you venture deeper into your grief journey. If you ever need anything, I am here. I hope you’ll keep coming back. xox, Chels

  3. Connie Blew says:

    My 81 yr old mom left me Christmas morning 2018, so a bit of time has passed. You articulated this season so well. Thank you

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Connie, Thank you so much for reading my work and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it more than you know. <3, Chels

  4. Tiffany Edwards says:

    This has hit home in ways I can’t even explain. I lost my momma a day before her birthday in 2019. My mom was my best friend. She was the one person I could turn to. The pain is unbearable. And there aren’t words that can even describe how it feels. I’m sorry for your loss. The heartache is unbearable.

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Tiffany, I felt every word of this. I hate that we share the heartbreak of having a mother in heaven. It’s such a unique and lingering ache. I pray you find comfort and peace in the words that fill my page. They’ve all poured straight from the depths of my heart. <3, Chels

  5. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for such beautiful words of comfort. This is all so true. This pain does take my breath suddenly and I just sob at times. I only add as a mother myself I realize that I’ve lost one of the few people that love me no matter what. The one who will tell me you’re not looking good today, you have bags under your eyes, have you gained or lost weight?, but always end with you’re gorgeous and perfect I can’t believe you’re mine. She always embarrassed me saying these things even at 49 but I know she love me enough to tell me anything, the good, the bad and the ugly.

  6. Sarah says:

    Thank you so much for you understanding words…
    My mom left on July 4th.We had just found out a few weeks before that she was terminal.She was at home with me on hospice for her last 3 weeks.I’m still not sure if that was a blessing or curse bc I find myself asking what I could have done different constantly.We picked up her ashes 2 days ago and I thought that might be more closure but hasn’t really helped.Please keep me in your prayers for guidance and peace

  7. I lost my beautiful Mom on October 16, 2019. A year later I lost my brother. I’m still broken 😞. The grief and the hurt 😢 is still there. My heart is broken 💔😫. Next month my youngest daughter is getting married and it hurts that my Mom and brother won’t be here to witness it.

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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