We Can’t Just Stay Who We Were

December 16, 2021

We can’t just stay who we were, grief has changed things. It has changed us. It has shifted elements of life and dismantled the person we once were. We can either acknowledge the unwanted change or ignore it. We didn’t choose loss but we can choose how we let the consequences of it impact our future. 

We can’t just stay who we were, grief has changed things. It has changed us. It has taught us lessons we weren’t ready for and delivered catastrophes we weren’t prepared for. It has changed the very foundation in which we stand. We can sit in the rubble, unmoved or we can climb out of the destruction and build something new with the pieces that remain. It won’t replace the life before it but it will honor the remaining pieces by using them to craft all that is to come. 

We can’t just stay who we were, grief has changed things. While we can choose to change our clothing, our labels, and our home decor. We can’t and don’t choose the unraveling and reworking caused by significant loss. We don’t choose the chaos that consumes our hearts and our minds after losing someone we love. We simply choose to breathe and survive grief, which sounds much more simple than it is. It’s actually quite a harsh task.

We can’t just stay who we were, grief has changed things. You look into the mirror at someone you don’t recognize while wholeheartedly knowing it must be you. Emotionally, you are different. Physically, you are different. Spiritually, you are different. There is no remaining piece of you that has not been touched by this loss. You are different now, you’ll always be, but different can still be beautiful and worthy. 

We can’t just stay who we were. 

Grief has changed things. It has changed us.

We can’t stay who we were and would we really want to?

xox, Chels

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Chelsea Ohlemiller

Chelsea Ohlemiller

A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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