When You Lose a Lifeline

February 24, 2020

Have you ever noticed how much our lives intertwine with our mother’s. Every detail, every event, every emotion, every milestone. Our mothers are always there, so connected and involved, and proud. 

Immediately, they are our protectors. They become our biggest advocate and evolve beautifully into the single most important person in our lives. They have a power and love that is undeniable. They become our lifeline. The one we confide in. The one who serves as our safe haven and our savior. We depend on their care, their love, and their expertise. 

So, what happens when you lose a lifeline? What happens when you are stuck in the midst of the most difficult situation you’ve ever experienced and you can’t reach out to your protector, because they are the one who’s been stolen from you? 

The person who used to provide love, guidance, and a means of escape from difficult situations is suddenly gone. You’re left there, stuck, without a way to escape the complex emotion, the heartbreaking reality, and the absence that you’re left with. 

You’ve lost your lifeline. You’ve lost a piece of yourself and you’ve gained the need to survive on your own. You’ve gained the responsibility to keep going, without the person who housed your strength, courage and bravery. You lost the person and the rope that always pulled you in to safety. 

Except, you haven’t. 

You never lost the rope that pulled you to safety. You lost the person holding it. And, just as a mother does, she prepares you for the future and cares for you, beyond her final days. She knew she would be leaving, so that rope, the one she held tightly to keep you safe and on track, she simply handed it off to a new set of people. 

Instead of one person, you now have a village of people who take turns holding your safe space. Before your mother left, she ensured there were people there to help. Not to take her place, but to fill in the empty spaces and the lost guidance. 

You may have lost a lifeline, but that same lifeline made it a priority to ensure you would stay afloat. Before the rope was dropped, and the role vacated, they carefully placed it in the hands of others. Others who would become your support. Others that would remind you to breathe and to keep living. 

Mother’s can’t be replaced. If you’re lucky, once they’re gone, you look around and realize that the people you love have carefully provided pieces of the things you lost when you lost your mother. Pieces of her that they sprinkle into your life, just when you need it. 

I’ve learned that in the pain of losing a lifeline, there is also immense beauty in all of the wonderful people who ensure you’ll always be pulled to safety when needed. People who help rescue you from the depths of grief and the intensity of heartbreak. 

You may have lost a lifeline, but if you’re lucky, you also gained a village. 

xox, Chels

2 comments so far.

2 responses to “When You Lose a Lifeline”

  1. Elinorl Kantrowitz says:

    This posting reveals the heart breaking when your Mother leaves this world. But, rest assured that there are so many friends and family who treasure the gifts of Love she spread among those who will never forget that she is always a part of us forever.

  2. JoyGina Thompson says:

    This is definitely one of my favorites! My Mom was my best friend, my biggest supporter, the best Mamaw to my girls! She was my everything! When she was diagnosed with dementia I thought my heart would burst. She became someone totally different, it was heart breaking but I never stopped loving her the same as always, maybe I loved her a little more. I was her caregiver and worked 40 hours a week with the 2 kids as well. It was so hard but it was the greatest thing I have ever done and I wish I was still doing it!! 🥺 your page has helped me more than I could ever put into words, and I know it has so many others! Thank you!! ❤️

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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