Needing your Mother

You’re never too old to need your mother. Even when she’s not here. Even when she is completely unreachable. 

You simply never stop needing your mother. 

In the midst of the panic of the world, I find myself once again desperately wishing my mother. For comfort. For guidance. For all of the things only a mother can provide. 

Sure I’m an adult, but I’m also the kind of adult that still needs my mother. 

That need isn’t realistic for me now. I know she is beyond my reach, but that doesn’t stop the longing. It doesn’t stop the ache. In fact, the social isolation of the world has amplified my grief. 

Fear. Stress. Isolation. The unknown. All triggers that amplify grief. They make the hole and emptiness raw again. They remind us, in uncertain times like these, where a mother’s love is often a cure, we no longer have that option of healing. 

When you find yourself scared, with a million questions, with a trillion concerns, you lean on your mother. For those of us that find ourselves “motherless”, we no longer possess that blessing, that gift. 

So we sit here, scared, concerned, confused by the world, and also re-living the depths of our grief. Reliving another day, another moment, another new life event, that has us desperate for someone who is no longer here. 

You are never too old to need your mother.  Even when she’s not here. Even when she’s unreachable. 

And today, I need my mother. 

xox, Chels