I See You

April 15, 2020

I see you.

I close my eyes and I see you. 

I see your smile. I see your sparkling eyes. I see your slightly wrinkled hands and face. I see your warm demeanor. I see your charm and your radiance. 

I don’t see the sickness. I don’t see the cancer. I see you. 

I see you as your best version, the one where you still had life. The one where you had bounce and stamina and spunk. The one where you still had health and a future.

The one where you still had life.

The vision of your death used to consume me. It used to find me in times of peace and wreck havoc on my heart and spirit. Now, years later, I no longer see the frail you. I no longer envision the sick and bedridden version. I stopped envisioning the you that had life and time slipping away. 

I see you in all your glory. Beautiful and free. Full of joy and love and life. 

I see you. Just as you were in life. Not as you were in death.

Time has shifted my view. Time changed my vision and perspective. 

When grief first entered my life, the darkness and pain had control and authority. Until the day light shined through, claiming back the power and energy. Light and time and perspective made things beautiful again. They gave me back you, the real you, the version I love and miss. 

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are missed. 

And you are seen, just as you were in your glory days, full of life and love and radiant sparkle. 

I close my eyes and I see you. 

And it’s a blessing. 

xox, Chels

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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