It’s Still Hard

February 23, 2021

Three years after losing my mother, it’s still hard. 

Surrounded by people who support and love me, it’s still hard. 

Holding faith and trust in a higher power, it’s still hard. 

Knowing coping mechanisms and becoming aware of grief’s triggers, it’s still hard. 

It’s still hard because it is hard. It always will be. It won’t be hard every second of every day, but there will certainly be hard sprinkled in on everything I do and experience. 

Grief is hard— whether two days in or two decades it can bring you to your knees with ease. It is hard, still…and that’s ok. 

If you find yourself in the “it’s still hard” phase, remember… 

It is hard. 

Because you loved freely.

Because you loved with an intensity some never experience. 

Because you miss someone, every single day. 

Because pieces of you are missing. 

Because you lost your best friend.

Because you lost your lifeline.

Because you miss the sound of her voice and the way your name sounded exiting her lips.

Because you wish things were different.

Because you can’t change the past. 

Because you are forever changed by this death.

Because you hurt and you ache.

Because you are grieving. 

It’s hard. 

Still.

Let the ‘hard’ remind you of the beauty of the ache. That you hold the love of someone incredible. That you loved someone incredible. That you are a better person for experiencing a love so grand, it hurts….still.

xox, Chels

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2 responses to “It’s Still Hard”

  1. carmela says:

    hi Chelsea
    January 6 2021 time of death 1:50 pm my mom
    passed away with covid 19…
    January 7 2021 time of death 7:40 am my dad
    also passed away covid 19..
    about 18 hours I lost both parents by covid-19

    It is very hard😢😞
    Carmela P.
    from montréal québec canada

    • chelseaohlemiller says:

      Hi Carmela! I am so extremely sorry for the heartbreak of losing your mother. You are not alone, though it might seem like it at times. I pray you find comfort and hope on my page, it’s the very reason I created it. I also noticed that you are from Canada. My grandfather was born in Quebec! He was French-Canadian and he and my grandmother spoke fluent French. It’s part of my mother’s family tradition that I loved! Thank you so much for writing. I’m honored to have you here. xox, Chels

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Chelsea Ohlemiller

Chelsea Ohlemiller

A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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