Three Years

July 3, 2020

Three years ago today my world collapsed. Three years ago today I learned the ability to continue living with a piece of my heart shattered, exposed, and raw. Three years ago today I hugged and kissed my mother for the very last time. 

Three years ago today my mother left this earth.

Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that I heard her say my name and hold me tight. Other days, it feels like decades. Infinite amounts of days that are clouded by her absence. Grief has proven to be complicated, unpredictable, and confusing. 

Grief can steal joy, while also gracing you with unique love and influence. It is an intricate blend of beauty and pain. You live with it because you have no choice. You transform with it to make it meaningful. 

Life is messy. It’s even messier after losing someone you love. Your heart bursts open like Fourth of July fireworks. Scattering pieces of your heart and soul everywhere you go. Pieces that illuminate the sky with love and joy. Pieces that once held sparkle and radiance, but slowly turn dark and burn with such fierceness they hurt if you touch them. Pieces that turn to ash. Pieces that scatter so far and wide, it would be impossible to collect them all. 

Three years ago today my heart burst open, and it hasn’t been the same since. 

xox, Chels

1 comments so far.

One response to “Three Years”

  1. Lori Kalfen says:

    Im so sorry and know exsactly how you feel. Mommas are a big part of us and always will be. Mine was my best friend travel partner ect. The hole in my heart will always be.

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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