I’m floating. Everything is white. It’s all cliche but I’m too joyful to be bothered with that fact. I’m happy and free and rising higher with each second. Before I have a chance to become overwhelmed with confusion, I’m met with Him— God, the creator I’ve questioned so many times in my life.
He welcomes me with the most loving embrace I’ve ever known as he leads me further ahead. As he guides me forward, he says: “I have someone that’s been waiting for you.”
And that’s when I see her, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, my mother.
She’s more beautiful than I remember, which seems impossible because I remember her flawless and perfect. She shines with freedom and glistens with joy. In a moment where I’d always envisioned there would be tears, there are none. My assumptions of this reunion were wrong. All I feel is immense gratitude, profound love and an unimaginable liberation.
She’s been waiting for me and I’ve been waiting for the chance to see her again.
I hug her. I step back to look at her before embracing her again and again and again. I can’t stop staring at her in the complete disbelief that once again we are together. I’ve missed her beyond measure since the day she left for this place. I’m encompassed by so much love for what is in front of me that I find myself unable to be sad about all that I’ve left behind.
This moment is perfect. This reunion is better than I’ve fantasized.
And that’s when it happens. The moment everything changes. The moment I wake up to find myself right back where I remembered I always was, here on earth without her. It’s like a punch to the gut. It’s as if I’ve lost her once again.
It all seemed so real.
And maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t simply a dream but also a sneak peek into the future. A gift of love from above to say, “I’m here, waiting.” A gift from above to say, “I’m free and happy and there is no reason to worry about me anymore. I’m where I was always meant to be, a place that seems far but one that I can still love you from.”
Maybe it is real in a way that I cannot comprehend right now but in a way I’ll someday be able to.
Until then, I’m living boldly, loving purposefully, and I’m waiting for the day I’ll hear, “I have someone that’s been waiting for you.”
A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.