There You Are

January 11, 2023

Oh, there you are. I should have known. You told me you’d never fully leave me and that you’d remain with me always. I should have trusted you. I should have known. Grief made me doubt. It made me hesitate. 

But, there you are.

Not because I see you or because you’re physically here but rather because of the promises you made to always be by my side. I never knew that an invisible presence was just as powerful as an actual one. I never knew the hope for your continued existence could be as powerful as your influence when you were actually here.

There you are.

Not because I feel you, though sometimes I swear I do, but because I know you must be there supporting me in whatever way you can from eternity. I never knew that the silent and unheard cheers could actually be the most important and the most encouraging. 

There you are.

Invisible and hard to comprehend but still so full of all the things you held here on earth. You always said you loved me to the moon and back, I never knew what that meant until now. I love you to eternity and back, and probably beyond that too. It’s so complicated to miss you indefinitely while also knowing that pieces of you are here, lighting the way for all that’s to come.

There you are.

In the clouds. In the shadows that follow me. In the red birds that appear in the backyard. In the song that comes on in the car at just the right time. In the answered prayers. In the signs that show up just when I need them. In each day, as long as I’m paying attention. 

There you are. 

My light. My influence. My guide. My mother. 

Here so very differently than I’d like, but still here nonetheless. 

There you are. Just as you promised. 

There. You. Are.

xox, Chels

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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