Becoming a Princess

August 24, 2023

There is one thing every princess I loved as a child has in common: they are motherless. 

No one discusses the brutal element of those princess stories– it’s grief.

It was a part of the movie that I never focused on and certainly one that no one was talking about. No one explains that the happily ever after of each and every one of those beloved princesses included a future without a mother.  

I never comprehended that all the princesses I wanted to be, the ones I pretended to be, no longer had mothers. Motherless wasn’t even a word I knew. It wasn’t one I ever heard, certainly one I didn’t want to live.

As a kid, I was dreaming about the dresses and mesmerized by the castles and fanciness of the story. I was lost in the songs and theatrics. I was envisioning a handsome prince that would make all my dreams come true– the kind of love you see in every fairytale. I was too busy studying the royal families, the heroes, and the charm to notice the sadness, the void. 

I always wanted to be a princess and, in my thirties, it felt like I became one. I found the love of my life and two months before my wedding, my mother passed away. I turned into all of those princesses that I admired as a kid. I got the love and the romance. I got the husband and the children. And, I lost my mother. 

I never knew turning into a princess felt like finding one love and losing another. I gained the love of my life and lost the love of my mother. I never gained the true title of princess, but I gained the commonality they shared. I became motherless too. Crowned with a reality, title, and responsibility I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even those fairytale villains and bad guys.

If I knew being motherless was part of being a princess, I would have wished to be someone different. I would have picked a character that still had a mother.

I guess I finally learned how to become a princess. And now I don’t want to be one.

xox, Chels

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A wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.

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