People assume grief begins at the moment of death, some even think it begins at the funeral. But grief begins before all of that.
It begins at a diagnosis. It continues through the bouts of remission, through the constant flow of the back and forth. It continues through the decline. Then suddenly, it increases with each moment nearing the ultimate goodbye, the separation.
Sure grief is amplified by the stamp marking time of death, and the moment you stand as a witness to a casket lowering beneath the earth. But it starts before all of that. It shows up prior to all of those things.
Grief begins before the funeral.
You may not know its name quite yet, but it’s there.
You may not understand the ache and emptiness it brings, but it’s there.
Grief begins much earlier than a final heartbeat and final words. It begins the moment you realize life is fragile and that soon you’ll lose someone you love.
Grief doesn’t begin when a life is lost. It begins much earlier than that.
And once it begins, it has no end.
Grief, forever.
But love forever too.
This, all of this. Thank you for putting into words so eloquently what is sometimes so hard to express.
I lost my mother to cancer a little over a year ago. When we got the news that it had spread to her brain, that was more devastating I think than when she finally told me she was ready to go.
Thank you for your words and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.