If they only knew grief can’t be healed or overcome, but rather learned to be carried lighter and with better handling.
If they only knew how different things are now. How I’ve been completely transformed in both heartbreaking and purposeful ways.
If they only knew that she sometimes leaves my mind, but she never leaves my heart.
If they only knew that I need grace and patience and compassion. I’ve never been here before, in this space of longing and emptiness.
If they only knew that losing someone you love, someone significant, changes everything. Every single thing.
If they only knew that life feels different. Relationships feel different. Living feels different. Different and unfair and harsh.
If they only knew that she’s the one gone, but pieces of me are gone too. I have holes where love and influence used to be. Holes that cannot be filled.
If they only knew that I’m trying, really trying, to live again. That I’m desperately seeking hope and light as darkness and despair work diligently to coat my heart. I’m trying to comprehend this new journey. I’m trying, even if it doesn’t look like it.
If they only knew that this experience is delicate and unique. It doesn’t look or feel the same for anyone. It’s as distinctive as a fingerprint and as individual as a snowflake.
If they only knew that grief has shattered me with heartbreak, anger, and sorrow. But it has also given me deep appreciation for life, endless gratitude for love, and overwhelming empathy.
If they only knew grief is my new and constant companion. I need them to accept us both, love us both and invite us both because we journey together now.
If they only knew grief gives you pain and purpose. It gives you the ability to feel contradictory emotions simultaneously, forever. It gives you perspective and most importantly it gifts you the legacy of someone unforgettable.
A thirty-something wife, mother and educator who has Indiana roots and a passionate spirit. Chelsea is a sappy romantic, coffee junkie, book collector, and person who wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s sarcastic, full of jokes, full of tears, and enjoys writing most when life gets messy or complicated. In 2017, Chelsea's mother passed away. Through her grief journey, she decided to take her mother’s advice and share her writing with the world. One day she gained the courage to honor her mother's wishes and write. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she's ever made.